My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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