There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
