i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
