He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
