I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
