you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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