I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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