I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Found the puke drawer
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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