How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
