distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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