Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
