One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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