i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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