She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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