turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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