just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
