So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
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