Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
