you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
