I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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