I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
