ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
