HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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