Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
