I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize