Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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