If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
