We named our party play list daddy issues
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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