What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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