just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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