ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
