The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
