Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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