1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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