i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize