A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
no, he came in my armpit
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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