Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
