Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
