we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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