He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
