he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
