I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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