The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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