Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I can't turn off my feet"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
