I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
