Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
