HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
