Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
