The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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