I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
