i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
