i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
3pm strippers are depressing
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
