it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
