I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
