I am in a vortex of obligation.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize