While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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