I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
