you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize