I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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