I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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